How can a question that has so many different answers and opinions swirling around it, ever be put to rest? This problem is apparent when comparing the articles “Extension of Single-sex Public School Provision: Evidential Concerns” by Peter Daly, and “Learning Separately: The Case For Single-sex Schools” by Peter Meyer. And the differences between the articles don't stop at the conclusions.
Daly's article takes the results tests that were given to students from single-sex and mixed schools. He finds that girls who go to all girls' schools outperformed girls who went to mixed schools, while the opposite was true for boys (Daly 129). Meyer takes the opinions of other experts, like Rosemary Salomone, and concludes that single-sex education shows strong benefits for its students.
The main similarity in the articles is the constant idea that single-sex education is more beneficial to girls than it is to boys. Daly's article bases this on the data collected from the tests that were given. Meyer's article gets this idea from others; "'We can concentrate a lot better without boys,'...Boys seem less sure of the benefits”(Meyer 12).
The difference between the articles lies in the conclusion. Meyer has a much stronger, opinionated based, conclusion than Daly's. “Serious educators seem to realize that single-sex schools and classrooms are not a threat, but another arrow in the quiver of education quality”(Meyer 22). Daly's article presents a more neutral conclusion. It's a conclusion that basically says that it is too hard to draw a strong conclusion to either side of the argument.
It is so hard to find a definitive answer to any sort of debate because that's exactly what it is; a debate. Both sides are going to present their points in a polarizing ways. This is illustrated when looking at the differences between Daly's and Meyer's articles. There are going to be so many different ways of looking at a subject that it's resolution will become hazy.
Essay #1: Rough Draft
ReplyDeleteHow can a question that has so many different answers and opinions swirling around it, ever be put to rest?
-->[Unidiomatic. Answers and opinions don't swirl around questions. The comma is unnecessary. Weak opener: this sentence
could preface absolutely any controversy.]
This problem is apparent when comparing the articles “Extension of Single-sex Public School Provision: Evidential Concerns”
by Peter Daly,
-->[Dangling modifier.]
-->Concerns,” by Peter Daly, and “Learning Separately: The Case For Single-sex Schools” by Peter Meyer.
-->,” by Peter Meyer.
And the differences between the articles don't stop at the conclusions.
-->[Don't start a sentence with and,or, or but.]
-->[Unclear. How did you already get to the conclusions?]
-->[Ineffective introduction.]
Daly's article takes the results tests
-->Daly reports on tests
that were given
-->that was given
to students from single-sex and mixed schools. He finds that girls who go to all girls' schools outperformed girls who went
to mixed schools, while the opposite was true for boys (Daly 129). Meyer takes the opinions
-->cites the opinions
of other experts, like
-->, including
Rosemary Salomone, and concludes that single-sex education shows strong benefits
-->has important benefits.for its students.
-->[Delete.]
-->[Vague. I don't have a good idea what kind of test was given, or what steps were taken to eliminate confounding factors
such as economic and ethnic background.]
The main similarity in the articles is the constant idea
-->Daly and Meyer agree
that single-sex education is more beneficial to girls than it is to boys. Daly's article bases this on the data collected
from the tests that were given.
-->[Doesn't this contradict your previous paragraph?]
Meyer's article gets this idea from others;
-->Meyer shares this opinion, but he bases it on other experts. [???] "'We can concentrate a lot better without boys,'...Boys
seem less sure of the benefits”(Meyer 12).
-->[What does this quote have to do with the previous sentence?]
The difference between the articles lies in the conclusion.
-->Ultimately, Daly and Meyer disagree [about what?]
Meyer has a much stronger, opinionated based,
-->["opinionated based"? Garbled. Rephrase.] conclusion than Daly's.
-->Meyer's conclusiont [which?] is more emphatic than Daly's.
“Serious educators seem to realize that single-sex schools and classrooms are not a threat, but another arrow in the quiver
of education quality”(Meyer 22).
-->[Space after quality" ] [Is this quote accurate? Seems illiterate. Educator's may have a "quiver," but "education quality"
cannot.]
Daly's article presents a more neutral conclusion.
-->[How about "nuanced"? or "wishy-washy"?]
It's a conclusion that basically says that it is too hard to draw a strong conclusion to either side of the argument.
-->[Wordy, wordy, wordy.]
-->Daly comes to a non-conclusion: he simply has no answer.
It is so hard to find a definitive answer to any sort of debate because that's exactly what it is; a debate. Both sides are
going to present their points in a polarizing ways. This is illustrated when looking
-->[Dangler.]
at the differences between Daly's and
Meyer's articles. There are going to be so many different ways of looking at a subject that it's resolution
-->at a subject that its resolution
will become hazy.
-->[You, too, come to a non-conclusion. Very wordy, very weak. It's as if you've eaten a meal and your critique is, "Well, I don't really know if it was good." Your job is to come to a conclusion. It may not be that one side is right and the other is wrong. You can have a totally different answer. For example: "If, as seems likely, there is no particular educational advantage to either single-sex or coeducational settings, the issue must be settled on other grounds. Most likely, the single-sex agenda is driven by ideological considerations (probably religious), and these should be confronted squarely and matched against the needs of the community and the nation. It has already been decided (in Brown v Topeka KS Board of Education) that separate is not equal. If students are made nervous by those of other races or religions or ethnic backgrounds or sexual orientation, that is something they must learn to deal with. Finally, there is an important economic consideration: school budgets are always tight, and it makes no sense at all to duplicate facilities just to satisfy a few noisy reactionary parents."]
My mistake: the second correction, below, is word. "Were" is correct. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteSeth
Daly's article takes the results tests
-->Daly reports on tests
that were given
-->that was given
to students from single-sex and mixed schools. He finds that girls who go to all girls' schools outperformed girls who went
to mixed schools, while the opposite was true for boys (Daly 129).